I didn't end on a hook the last macro-blog, but I found one! Are y'all tired of all this film talk? I'm not! But I'm a man (?) with varied interests. One such interest is the social media platform Tik Tok.
I know, I know. I've said before I'm not on social media. But Tik Tok doesn't count! I don't post there, I just lurk. It's not like macro-blogging, I swear!
And don't tell me it's run by the Chinese government! Take your liberal, xenophobic privacy pearl-clutching to some other macro-blog! If you're so worried about online security, what about domestic wrongdoers like Zuck? Go read The Intercept, pleb!
Anyway! As you can see, it's hard to evangelize the charm of Tik Tok without yelling. I tried to show the app to my friend Maggie and it didn't go well. I felt the same sting of defeat when I tried to show my (girl)friend MK a Jerry Lewis movie. Both have their charms, I swear!
Tik Tok isn't paying me to say this. The loss of Vine left a hole in my heart. Laughing about Vine is inseparable from my college experience. My friend Dalton (different Dalton) and I would laugh about Logey Dogey for hours. Tik Tok has filled that hole (sorry).
If you won't take my word for it, I'll give you a gateway (sorry). My favorite Toker (?) is a guy named Moonshine Brian. I say he's my favorite, but I haven't gone deep into his oeuvre yet. You could say I'm a "fake fan."
Anyway, you need context to understand Moonshine Brian. This is high art! Tik Tok has perfected Vine's simple formula. Instead of offering only looping, Tik Tok also offers more advanced video features.
These include face-tracking and a "reaction" option. But the important feature for our purposes is the green screen feature. Like DePalma mastered the split-screen, Moonshine Brian has mastered the green screen.
Tokers don't need to own their own green screen. Instead, if you have an image to project, Tik Tok does the rest. Moonshine Brian offers up stills from the reality show Moonshiners. Why you ask?
Because Moonshine Brian cosplays as a moonshiner. From what I gather, Moonshine Brian, in reality, is not a moonshiner, but he aims to be. And he's a big fan of TV's Moonshiners, especially that lovable goof-off Tickle. And Moonshine Brian, like Tickle, often finds himself pretending to be on the wrong side of the law.
If you haven't seen Moonshiners, then you might not appreciate Moonshine Brian. Moonshiners is one of those programs you only watch at home with your father for the holidays. Or while you're waiting for your oil change. The Discovery Channel may be the last source of inadvertent media consumption.
Moonshiners isn't all that different from Pawn Stars, Naked and Afraid, or The Curse of Oak Island. Like wrestling, the choreography of reality is more enjoyable than the reality itself. Do I have to explain this to you? Go watch F for Fake, pleb!
So I guess that makes Moonshine Brian a sorta simulacra, but that discussion is beyond my pay grade. Go read Baudrillard! What I am paid to do is make easy, John Oliver-style "it's like" comparisons. And Moonshine Brian is like Scott McClanahan meets self-insert fanfiction.
Go watch yourself! I'm done giving play-by-play! I'm paid to give foreshadowing for my next macro-blog post. It'll be about Pawn Stars . . .