Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Living High in the Dirty Business of Dreams


As foretold in my fourth macro-blog post in two days, I'm talking about Tosches' Dino.  This is my first majority-picture macro-blog!  As mentioned in my inaugural macro-blog post, I have a long-running observation journal.  If I can't jot something down while reading, I'll often take a picture instead.  So, here, I've attached a bounty of pics from Dino's first half, with annotations.  Follow me:


This is a great extending-metaphor about apples and early education!


Another great metaphor!  Instead of apples, this one is about cards.


Edison recorded a sneeze!


I never thought about cigarettes as a fundraising need during WWII!


The book hasn't gotten to the Martin-Lewis films yet, but I this foreshadows That's My Boy!


Tosches describes an elevator as a "coffin-womb."  Freudian!

I didn't include some pics because they contained vulgarities.  And this macro-blog is on a Christian Minecraft server.  But Tosches does this weird thing where he'll dip into cursing as a narrator.  In Hellfire, one of my favorite books, Tosches reserved that only for free indirect speechHellfire was also much shorter than Dino.  Maybe I'll write a full review if I ever finish Dino.  Speaking of reviews . . .

Real American


I pained myself into a corner with my threequel macro-blog post.  Now I have to macro-blog about wrestling!  To be honest, I haven't been keeping up as much as I used to.  I still listen to We Watching Wrestling.  And I just discovered Ben Kissel's wrestling podcast.  But I haven't had the WWE Network or NJPWWorld since law school started.

Does anyone else get sad when you can't keep up with an old passion?  Starting graduate school had a way of weeding out a few of mine.  These included watching wrestling, reading for pleasure and listening to music with lyrics.  I often spend my breaks bingeing on these to make up.

Here's an example.  So far this winter break I've read four (!) books: Black Swans, two Lew Archer mysteries and LaBrava.  I'm in the middle of Nick Tosches' Dean Martin biography, but I won't finish before the semester.  I've done the same before with comics, catching up on Marvel's Star Wars series and X-Men relaunch.

But this break I haven't watched any wrestling matches.  The last PPV I watched was AEW Full Gear in November.  And this time a year ago I was watching Wrestle Kingdom 13!  Once I get WiFi again this weekend I'll peruse my YouTube playlist of unseen matches.

Through that playlist, I discovered my favorite Hulk Hogan match.  That match is Hulk Hogan vs. Great Muta at New Japan Wrestling Dontaku from 1993.  (Here's a really bad YouTube copy of match).  I love this match because it is an outlier in Hulk's career.  Here, Hulk isn't wrestling like Hulk.

For context, Great Muta is an absolute maniac.  Like a real (i.e. shoot) fight, Hulk adjusted his style to match his competitor.  That's not to say I don't like Hulk's WWF style.  Hulk knew that originality lies at the intersection of pastiche and replicability.  Hulk stole from the right people then produced a body of work anyone else could steal from.  The same can be said of Clint Eastwood or Dean Martin.

Wrestling style (i.e. gimmick) is unique because it's not only on-screen presence or voice.  It is everything.  Move-set, catchphrases, costuming, entrance music, etc.  Try this at home: ask a friend to do a Hulk impression.  If your test subject even has a passing knowledge of Hulkster they could do one.

Hulk's speaking style, for example, is so pure it even extends to his writing style.  Can you imagine anyone else writing a tweet like that (pictured above)?  The carny lingo, the catchphrase, the time he tweeted it at. *chef's kiss*  Despite the Gawker case, I can't help but slip in a "brother" into conversation every so often.  Language is a virus!

A similar, infectious wrestling voice is Jim Cornette'sUntil his recent controversy, I loved to pantomime his falsetto frustration.  Is Jim Cornette the Tiny Tim of wrestling personalities?  Judge him by my favorite clip, about his hatred of Water Valley, Mississippi.  For further research, here's the infamous Dairy Queen incident, featuring Chris Jericho.

I would love to write a Tosches-esque biography of the Hulkster.  I can picture the cover now.  HULKSTER: NOT DOING THE JOB IN THE DIRTY SHOWBIZ OF JABRONIE DREAM MATCHES by Dalton Owen Huerkamp, Esq.  As required by law, I'd start at the match with the Rock before going back to his childhood.  Tosches does it, too, in Dino!  With all this Tosches talk, maybe I'll macro-blog about Dino next post . . .

Carmel-by-the-Sea, California


As foreshadowed in my sequel macro-blog post, I'll macro-blog about Clint Eastwood.  Did you know that Clint Eastwood was mayor of Carmel-by-the-Sea, California?  I learned this from my friend Dan'l when we discussed Play Misty for Me.  Mayor Eastwood doesn't come up when people talk about "proto-Trumps."

The obvious ones are Governor Ventura and Senator Franken.  But let us not forget President ReaganGovernor Schwarzenegger.  And Representative Bono.  Those three all held office in California.  And all three were Republicans! Hmmm . . .

Speaking of California, I even read yesterday that Eve Babitz is a conservative!  Can you imagine Babitz talking to an empty chair at the 2020 RNC?  I bet Babitz and Trump would get along, both of them loving hot gossip, or "hot goss."  But anyway, Eve Babitz never held office, nor is she Clint Eastwood.

I did see a good Eastwood movie recently: Thunderbolt and Lightfoot.  Jeff Bridges (Lightfoot) was the real highlight.  But Eastwood (Thunderbolt) was a good older brother figure to Lightfoot (Bridges).  Odd that Eastwood (Thunderbolt) was already the "I'm too old for this" character in 1974.

Maybe Thunderbolt and Lightfoot kicked off Eastwood's "okay now I'm too old" cycle.  I'm thinking of Unforgiven, Space Cowboys, Million Dollar Baby, Gran Torino and The Mule.  My friend Dan'l is less knowledgeable about late-era Eastwood so I can't ask him.  Maybe a better title for this cycle is a "retirement tour."

Jushin "Thunder" Liger, a masked wrestler, just completed his retirement tour.  Maybe I'll macro-blog about wrestling next post . . .

Also, do you think Carmel-by-the-Sea inspired "Cake by The Ocean?"

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

The Ape Film Revival of the Late 1990s (and 2001)


Since I mentioned it in my inaugural macro-blog post, why not discuss the ape film revival of the 1990s?  As mentioned, I've thought about this topic since my undeveloped college blog.  And I thought about it again after I recently tapped out of two (!) ape films.  The first was King Kong Escapes.  The second was Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla.  (I started that one based on Patton Oswalt's recommendation.)

But anyway, the 90s.  As a "90s baby," I remember thinking, "Hey, how come I keep seeing so many movies with apes in them?"  I can name at least five off the top of my head.  George of the JungleJungle 2 JungleMighty Joe YoungCongo.  Wait, that's only four.  Hang on . . .

So a few that I thought were 90s movies are actually from the 00s.  According to IMDb, MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate came out in 01.  And Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes also came out in 01.  So did Doctor Doolittle 2!  01 was a big year for ape movies.

Wait, am I misremembering my early childhood?  Have I conflated the halcyon days of 01 with "the 90s?"  Am I even a "90s baby?"  Regardless, that's a lot of ape movies for half a decade, plus a year.

Maybe this decade-straddling revival will be revived by the upcoming Doolittle.  You heard it here first, folks!  Well, all this ape talk is making me reconsider my vow never to watch Every Which Way but Loose.  (That vow includes that Ronald Reagan monkey movie).  Every Which Way but Loose comes up a lot in conversations with my friend Dan'l.  Dan'l has seen almost every Clint Eastwood movie.  Maybe I'll macro-blog about Clint Eastwood next post . . .

The Inaugural Macro-Blog Post


I've decided to start a macro-blogging.  And what better way to return to the Internet than through a dying medium.  I tried to start a blog in college, when I was on the Internet in full, inspired by Ezra Koenig's college blog.  It only survived one draft post about the ape film revival of the 1990s.

I'm hoping this one lasts a bit longer.  My primary inspirations are Jack Pendarvis' blog and my friend Dan'l's blog.  I've also been reading through the Horror Movie A Day archives and Crazy Days and Nights on occasion.  I also discovered Doom & Gloom From The Tomb after reading a lot of Invisible Hits.

Anyway, the blog will be like this: a lot of links.  I sorta see this as an extension of my long-running observation journal.  If at any point the former overtakes the later I'll delete the former.  But for now, expect things like a deep-dive into the ape film revival of the 1990s.  And links.